idk and stuff

As a child, i wasn't really shown much love. My parents were the "tough love" kind of parents. My dad more than my mom and it definitely made me who I am today. As a kid i witnessed my parents fight many times, and it was hard on me, being so young and seeing two grown people yelling at each other like that. I'm pretty sure many teenagers know what it's like. The empty feeling when the couple that brought you into this life could be like that. When those fights were about me, what i did, how I had an attitude, i would often wish I wasn't born. Those are little kid thoughts, but it really changed the way I look at life. I think back and think how stupid I was to think that. There's kids everywhere that would love the chance to live like me, a middle class citizen with a house to live in and food to eat. I love my parents, but I find myself blaming them for making me think that when people say they love me and care about me, they don't mean it. I just find it hard to believe that caring for another person is actually worth it when it just leads to fights. I'm not complaining, i'm just venting. I tend to over think things. Like how small we (humans) are compared to the universe. We are just a speck of dust in the whole Universe that can be wiped out at any second. All these leaders fighting and wars in countries are for nothing. One group of people fighting for something so insignificant. That's why i just don't see the point in anything, especially with things like love and stuff. It's necessary for family and friends I guess, but not with anyone else. Raised the way I was, with strict, old-school mexican parents, made me hate the thought of other people caring for me. I'm fine without it. I'd rather work at whichever job i want (deciding between marine biologist or going into criminology) and be independent. Every person is different.